Rox are hard...
mood? heavy hearted...
music? Coldplay - Amsterdam(whole album)
muse? Psalm 5 (msg)
I'm so heavy hearted. I give it back to God everyday, but I can't shake it off... maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe I'm supposed to struggle with God for once. Maybe I'll find my true name like Jacob did when he literally wrestled an angel... I wish so for that experience, but I dread it at the same time. Its like Will Smith says in Hitch "I long to be miserable...if that's what it take for me to be happy!" I long for this misery just so I can be happy and resolved in the end! But I hate the in between... For me its like I am so incredibly burdened. I ask God to take this and resolve it, and I listen I really do! But it seems as though he's making me wait for no reason... Why I don't know... It's as though I feel bad, but I shouldn't and I don't know why I do. It's so irritating... I'm not thinking to much either. I...I...I...I... Why am I thinking of myself so much. God! I know you're here with me! Fix this! I can't do it... Only You can, and I am torn in two... This is such a mess of ramblings and groanings God, that only You can make sense of...
Thank goodness for the gift of music... my outlet
J
music? Coldplay - Amsterdam(whole album)
muse? Psalm 5 (msg)
I'm so heavy hearted. I give it back to God everyday, but I can't shake it off... maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe I'm supposed to struggle with God for once. Maybe I'll find my true name like Jacob did when he literally wrestled an angel... I wish so for that experience, but I dread it at the same time. Its like Will Smith says in Hitch "I long to be miserable...if that's what it take for me to be happy!" I long for this misery just so I can be happy and resolved in the end! But I hate the in between... For me its like I am so incredibly burdened. I ask God to take this and resolve it, and I listen I really do! But it seems as though he's making me wait for no reason... Why I don't know... It's as though I feel bad, but I shouldn't and I don't know why I do. It's so irritating... I'm not thinking to much either. I...I...I...I... Why am I thinking of myself so much. God! I know you're here with me! Fix this! I can't do it... Only You can, and I am torn in two... This is such a mess of ramblings and groanings God, that only You can make sense of...
Thank goodness for the gift of music... my outlet
J
Oh, but I can feel You
You're coming quickly
I can almost see You
You're right here with me...
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Jon, you don't always think about yourself...remember last Tuesday?? :) I love my neighbor!!!