Do I have it in me?
So I built a playlist to listen to while writing this blog...
thought it'd be interesting. It's at the bottom of the blog so check it out.
So I watched one of the NOOMA DvDs. Rob Bell does not cease to amaze me.
He is so knowledgeable... and intelligent... and thoughtful.
Here's a guy with a passion for learning God's Word!
Anyway, in the Nooma called Flame, Bell deals with some awesome issues.
He uses three Hebrew words:
1. ra'yah
2. aha'vah
3. dode
All of these deal with love, and I've been asking myself a really hard question lately.
Am I willing to risk it? I mean even in the friendship sense? Am I as real as I could be?
Is my ra'yah, my brotherly, friendly love genuine?
If it's not, then how can I even think of pursuing the aha'vah that goes along with commitment to another. I'm talking a few years down the road, but am I capable of aha'vah? Do I have what it takes?
I guess I wrestle with that a lot in general. Can I handle this? Because once I commit to anything, there's no going back. All or nothing.
My Dad is an accountant, and one of the concepts in accounting as far as any financial aspect of business is concerned is that of "no risk, no reward." And I think that carries over very well into our own lives.
Elredge has a whole chapter of Wild at Heart dedicated to this question. He says that the cause of all this self doubt is the wounds that we experience through life, because we are sinful, and I completely agree.
God made me so that I can live in freedom. There is no reason to let fear of failure, rejection or loss scare me. This does not mean that I should bet everything I own on a horse race, but it does mean that I shouldn't be fearful of defeat when I know that my Father will welcome me home no matter if I have 2 billion dollars or 20 cents. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, remember?
So, I've just gotta buck up and dive head first into this whole battle and struggle and do something about what my heart tells me and what God has given me a definite peace about.
I mean I just get lost thinking about all of the things God could have in store for me.
My passions are driving me forward. What has God got in store for me? Am I ready?
So maybe I ought to drop to my knees more often to prepare myself for what's coming.
To ask God to return me to how I was created to be.
So that I can fulfill what I was made to do, whatever that may be.
God, let my flame for You burn higher and higher.
Let my passions continue to grow and teach me how
to pursue them. Whatever I do, Father, be with me.
playlist for the former blog:
David Crowder Band - Sparks Fly
David Crowder Band - Come and Listen
KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Bethany Dillon - For My Love
Coldplay - Yellow
Matisyahu - Unique is My Dove
Matt Wertz - Red Meets Blue (Today and Tomorrow)
David Crowder Band- (Repeat/Return) Or When the Seventh Angel...
Mute Math - OK
David Crowder Band - Open Skies (Dirty Beats Mix)
Ill Harmonics - Bowtie Jerks
David Crowder Band - Glorious Day
Burn a CD just like this!!
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I've seen that dvd. Of all of the Noomas I've seen, that is the best one.
If you don't mind me saying, I think at times you do have issues with your ra'yah. Of course, it may be just me. Maybe I've pushed you for a deeper friendship than you want to have with me.
Don't worry so much about aha'vah. I know you're just a year younger than me, but trust me when I say you're not ready for it. You have a lot more living to do before you are, at least concerning another human being.
Great playlist, by the way. I'm with Brandy on that Bethany Dillon song. I think every girl wishes for that.