Something to hold on to...

So I really don't get it.
I honestly don't understand why...

I'm not going to get into the what part, because that honestly doesn't matter much to me. The why and the who are much more important in general.

I've done some studying (Biblically) and I know I've got to go to them and seek reconciliation. I want to at least be at peace with them... to get rid of the tension that exists.

Romans 12:18
"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."

So, I must make the first step. I have such a hard time with this. I'm so tired being the only one who seems to care and wants to repair and restore. I've waited a week and not one of them has initiated anything. What's hard for me is that I know that this needs to be dealt with now.

Matthew 5:23-24; Jesus said
"This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God."

I'm just so incredibly sick of being walked on and it being okay. I'm tired of it all.
I don't get why provoking me to anger is fun, when it's sinful. Christians aren't supposed to embrace sin, but should run from it. Some of the same people who do this to me know that I struggle with anger, so why then is it right?

I just don't get it.
All I know is that I'm the only one within the situation that cares enough to do something about it. So I've got to go to each of them and offer reconciliation and try to understand why...
If these friendships have to end, then they'll end.
In Romans 12:18 it says "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." I'll do what I can, but I can't be around people who constantly provoke me to sin.

Jesus threw all of the merchants in the courtyard of the Temple out. As I try to seek God and gain a better understanding of the grace of Christ, I cannot have people pushing to make themselves more comfortable and advancing themselves. I don't want those things influencing me. I want to be completely sold out and undeniably seeking God with everything I have a hand in and with my whole being.
J

Show me a vision like Eziekel saw, An army of light from a valley of bones. Breathe life into these lungs of mine, So I can scream and shout of your love divine. Search light, burns bright, floods my eyes, Invade me, serenade me, I’m giving back my life. Here I am send me, Here I am send me, There’s nothing in my hands, But here I am send me.

I’m frightened what you’ll find, When you open up my heart, I’m walking in the light, Cos it’s light that changes the atmosphere, So touch these lips that criticise, And put a song in my mouth that opens our eyes

"Here I am send me" by Delirious?